


Consequences of a summer fling

by MashiarasDream



Category: Supernatural
Genre: ABO dynamics, AU, Alpha!Sam, Angst, Artist!Dean, Billionaire!Cas, Fluff, I missed the Harlequin challenge but I wanted to write something Harlequin-esque anyway, M/M, Mpreg, Pining, alpha!cas, happy end, omega!dean, so expect much sappiness, two idiots in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-03 01:45:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11521935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MashiarasDream/pseuds/MashiarasDream
Summary: Dean had a summer fling with billionaire bachelor Castiel Novak. A summer fling during which no promises were made. Which is why it shouldn’t have come as a surprise when Castiel ended their affair via a mundane text message. Only, it’s never been just a fling for Dean - and to make matters worse, he’s just found out that he’s pregnant.





	1. Chapter 1

“You have to tell him!“ is the first thing Sam says after he’s gaped at Dean with an open mouth for a good ten minutes.

“I don’t gotta do shit.”

“No, Dean, you _have to_. Like, you’re legally obliged to tell him!” Sam insists.

And okay, maybe it’s a good thing that Sam seems to take this in stride, at least enough that the lawyer is coming out, but Dean’s still not happy about the way this conversation is going.

“Yeah, right, so that he can legally take the kid away from me,” he growls and puts a protective hand over his stomach. “Not going to happen.”

“It doesn’t matter. The law is clear.”

“Don’t care,” Dean replies. He’s put his resolved face on and he thinks the whole thing would work, too, if his voice didn’t crack around the edges.

Which it does, which is why Sam switches tactic, Dean guesses. “Dean, you don’t know that he would react like that. I’m sure Castiel is going to be reasonable.” His voice has the strained softness now that it gets when he thinks Dean is acting like a particularly difficult child.

Only, Dean’s raised the lanky overgrown pup that is his brother, so he has no patience for that tone. Today even less than usual. “I’m an Omega but I’m still a fully functional human being and that’s my ex you’re talking about, Sam. So you might want to stop talking down to me.”

Sam holds his hands up in a gesture of peace immediately, being fully aware of Dean’s attitude towards the whole issue of being patronized because he’s an Omega.

“I have no delusions about this, Sam. I know what this was. I know what I was to him and what I wasn’t, okay?” He’s getting louder but he makes no attempt to lower his voice. To hell with all the expectations about being mild-mannered and quiet and well-behaved. “A fling, Sammy. I was a summer fling. That’s it. There was attraction, our scents matched, he wanted to fuck me, I wanted him to fuck me. Maybe that makes me a slut, but we both got what we wanted at the time. He’s never had any intentions of making this permanent and he never lied about it, either. End of story.”

Or it would have been, if the slight softness where his stomach muscles slowly dissolve to make his body ready to grow wasn’t telling something different. The story is only over for one of them. Cas left for Paris and Dean hasn’t been able to contact him ever since. A clean break, as far as Cas’ view is concerned, making it abundantly clear to Dean that their summer affair was just that, an affair.

Dean’s body kind of screams at the thought, a wave of nausea and pain rolling over him, that he can just barely stop from rendering him completely frozen.

Of course Sam notices, looking at him with a mixture of pity and frustration that grates at Dean’s insides. But his voice is a carefully grafted neutral when he replies, “A very _public_ fling, Dean.”

“How does that even matter? Cas has moved on. He’s on a whole different continent for fuck’s sake. No one is interested in me anymore. Everyone has moved on.” _Everyone but me._

For a long moment, Sam doesn’t say anything. Then he gets up, goes to the closet, takes a book out and throws it on the table. “Eileen confiscated it from one of her students.”

It’s a scrapbook. Dean’s stomach drops before he even turns the first page. He has a feeling that he knows what he’s going to find. And of course, he’s right. It’s a scrapbook about him and Cas.

He has to avert his eyes when the first picture stares at him. A candid shot. Dean remembers the day. They went shopping for one of the ridiculous society events Cas dragged him to and insisted Dean needed better clothes for. They were laughing and teasing each other and tested every new suit for how much range for making out it had.

The pictures are somewhat grainy, taken from far away, but even though they mirror how the day had felt. Happy. Apparently, the one who wrote this article sees it, too, because the headline is: _“Has our city’s most elusive bachelor finally been claimed?”_ and the text itself is speculating whether the camera caught them shopping for a wedding outfit.

The same pictures have been used in much less benevolent articles. The ones that call Dean a talentless artist who’s using Castiel to sleep his way to fame. The words _gold digger_ and _attention whore_ come up kind of often in those, spiced with descriptions like _brainless eye candy_ and _easy lay._

Cas had never had more than a disgusted face for these magazines, never once reading any of the articles as far as Dean knows, but the accusations have been gnawing at him anyway because there’s no real way to refute them.

It’s true that Dean’s been poor all his life. It’s true that meeting Cas has been good for his career. No one took his sculptures seriously before the press found out that the new beau of the mighty Castiel Novak is _the up-and-coming Omega artist Dean Winchester_. Dean’s even been able to give up his day job at the garage after that showing that Cas had organized at Balthazar’s gallery. There is no doubt that Cas had been instrumental in helping to start Dean’s career.

It’s just that it isn’t the way the yellow press makes it out to be. Dean hadn’t sought Cas out because he was # 1 on the _bachelors to grab to get rich_ list. In fact, Dean hadn’t sought out Castiel at all. They had met a showing at a smaller gallery, where Dean had managed to place one of his sculpture by pure luck. Cas had loved the dynamic of the two interwoven figures, each figure male and square-cut on its own, but together developing the flowing rhythm of an intimate dance. So he’d approached Dean about the sculpture. They’d started talking and then there had been shy smiles and by the end of the night, Cas’ hand had been on Dean’s arm, and somehow it all just seemed _right_. 

Well, Dean thinks drily, at least some of the paparazzi agreed.

He leafs through the scrap book at random, not stopping at anything else because he’s relived enough memories for now. Eileen’s student is apparently nothing if not diligent. The book seems to contain every paparazzi shot ever made. Every article that anyone ran about them. Every little blurb saying nothing but that Cas declines to comment on his relationship status or on the extent of his involvement with one Dean Winchester.

Well, that could have been an indication right there. At the time, Dean had thought that Cas just didn’t like the yellow press and didn’t want to give them any fodder. Now, that seems a little naïve. It’s just as likely that Cas never wanted to comment on his relationship status, because he didn’t think there was anything to comment on. A fling has a time limit after all. It’s not enough to change your Facebook status to _in a relationship_.

Dean pushes the scrap book away. All it does is make him even more morose, and he’d honestly not thought that was possible.

“So people will recognize me, whoop-de-doo. I’ll just tell them that Cas wasn’t the only one. That every time they called me a slut they were right. They can’t _make me_ put his name on the birth certificate.”

“Oh Dean.” Sam sighs and runs a tired hand through his hair. “That’s such a stupid plan.”

Dean shrugs. It doesn’t seem any worse than anything else he can do at this point. “And why’s that?”

To his credit, Sam tries to keep his voice neutral but the pity is still clear on his face. “Because it’s going to hurt everyone, saying you slept around. You, him and the baby. And he can still ask for a paternity test. And Dean, we both know the result of that.”

Because Dean had most definitely not been with anyone else. Hadn’t had so much as eyes for anyone else in the past six months. Which, who could blame him. Cas was gorgeous and smart and kind and unwittingly funny and any night that Dean hadn’t spent with him, he’d stared at the ceiling of the small house he’s sharing with his brother and had thought about how it would be if Cas wasn’t _the Castiel Novak_. If he wasn’t a billionaire jetting around the world to keep his business empire running. If he was a local school teacher like Eileen. If then maybe – if he’d consider making things between them permanent.

The thought leaves a cold knot in his stomach.

No, Dean had never deluded himself into thinking that something like that was possible, as much as he’d wished the dream was an actual possibility. So what if Cas didn’t have many affairs. So what if he hadn’t seen publicly with anyone in years. He had never made Dean any promises and Dean had respected that and never forgotten the distance between them.

“Can’t you just sign off on these?” Dean gestures at the stack of papers laying on Sammy’s side of the table, frustration giving way to desperation at the onslaught of memories. “Please?”

It’s degrading enough, having to ask. If his brother refuses, he’s got no idea what to do. But legally, Dean can pretty much not take any decisions on his own. Not even the one whether he wants to keep the pup or not. Everything needs approval by an Alpha. And since the father of the pup is not available, Sam’s the only one Dean wants for that. The only one he trusts to sign this and still let Dean keep a semblance of control.

Sam stares at the papers pensively. Then he sighs. “I’ll make you a deal. I’ll sign these if Cas gives his okay for me to be the child’s Alpha guardian.”

For a heartbeat, Dean is too dumbfounded to answer. “Have you heard _anything_ of what we just talked about?”

“Yes, Dean, I’ve heard it loud and clear. But if we do this your way, I can already predict what’s going to happen: Cas is going to find out about getting you with pup. He’s going to be mad as hell at you for keeping this from him. And in consequence, he’s going to sue us out of every penny and out of the child. Because he can. I’m a good lawyer, but I don’t have his resources. Make no mistake, Dean, if he goes down that road, you won’t even have visitation rights in the end.” Sam lets that settle for a moment before he continues in a softer voice. “Right now, you still have the chance to make things right. Not to – not to get back together or anything. But to tell him and to ask him to work together on this. To make sure he knows you’re ready to cooperate. You parted on good terms, right?”

“Guess so.” It comes out as a bitter snort. They have parted on a text message informing Dean that Cas has urgent business in Paris and that his cellphone won’t work internationally.

Which, you know, even Dean knows that that’s technology that people have figured out a decade ago. In terms of bullshit excuses, that one was easy to see through. Though of course Dean was too stubborn to see it as the gentle letdown that it was supposed to be. Of course he elected to ignore the second meaning and had answered at face-value to the message. Had left three text messages and five voice mails, ranging from carefully composed to somewhat hysterical to resigned, before the message that his time with Cas was done had finally made it through.

Of course he hadn’t known about the pup back then.

He’d found out about that more than a month later, when he’d finally noticed that his hormonal cycle wasn’t upset because he was grieving over a mate that had never been his. That no, his hormonal cycle was fucked up because it had switched to providing an environment for a child to grow in.

A doctor’s visit to confirm later, Dean is stuck here. Begging his brother to sign papers that by all rights his mate should be signing. Because the friendly doctor had congratulated him on being with pup and in the next sentence told him that he was legally not allowed to treat Dean any further unless there is written permission from the Alpha guardian responsible for Dean and the child.

Dean buries his face in his hands. It’s all such a clusterfuck.

“I don’t like this any more than you do,” Sam tries to soothe him. “But come on, you liked Cas for a reason. He is a decent guy. If you tell him now, you can find a solution that works for both of you.”

It sounds reasonable, the way Sam says it. Reasonable and not dangerous. Only, Dean’s stomach rebels at even the thought of talking to Cas and it’s mostly not the morning sickness. It’s mostly that he’s goddamn fucking scared. With everyone else, he’d tell them that there’s always a way. That it’s possible for an Alpha and an Omega to be friends. To share child raising responsibilities without sharing a bed.

Only when he thinks about that scenario, he feels nauseous every time. Because Dean and Cas, they have never been just friends. There’s always been something more between them, from the first moment on. And the thought of seeing that _something more_ between Cas and someone else – Dean isn’t sure he can take it. It’ll be bad enough reading about it in the newspaper. He doesn’t need to see it live and in person.

But that’s not an answer that he can give Sam, so he gropes around for the next best plausible thing. “Well, what if he doesn’t want the pup at all?” he challenges. “What if the only treatment he agrees on is getting rid of the child?”

“It-,” Sam swallows heavily. “It would be one solution to the problem.”

And that’s not the answer Dean was expecting.

“Oh fuck you, Sam. I’m going to bed,” Dean announces and pushes away from his chair angrily.

“Dean!”

“No, Sam. That’s _not_ an option. I’m going to disappear before I let that happen.”

That shuts Sam up. They both know that it’s not an empty threat. Either of them has the ability to disappear off the face of the Earth if need be.

“You really want his child?” Sam asks.

Dean closes his eyes, lets the pain wash over him. _I want the man, too._ But he doesn’t say it. His voice sounds resigned even to his own ears, when he answers. “Yes, Sammy. I’ve made that decision already. I want the pup.”

“Okay,” Sam nods, looking about as exhausted as Dean feels. “Look, I’ll dig through the precedents. Try to find anything that can help in case Cas is – uncooperative. But Dean, I still think you need to tell him. If I was him, I’d want to know. And evasion won’t work forever.”

Sam’s probably right but Dean doesn’t need to give him the satisfaction of saying so. “Wait until I’m missing my next doctor’s appointment because you didn’t sign the fucking papers. Let’s see who’s going to cave then,” he grumbles and stomps out of the room.

 

The problem with going to bed is the part where he’d actually need to close his eyes and go to sleep. Which is the first moment of the day where Dean can’t distract himself by staying busy.

He can hear Sam rummaging around his own room, and yeah, Dean kind of sprung this whole thing on him. And while Sam’s the modern type of Alpha, Dean probably managed to kick all of his protective instincts in over-drive.

Dean puts his arm over his eyes, blocking out the light.

That’s going to be the next fight, then. How much Dean’s going to be allowed to work. How much rest he should be getting. To eat more rabbit food and less greasy meals. In all likelihood, Sam’s downloading _What to Expect When You’re Expecting_ on his Kindle right this second.  

Dean groans at the thought and the intrusion into his life that all of this is going to mean.

Even worse, though, is that his own brain betrays him. Because while he balks at the thought of Sam force-feeding him salad after reading about the benefits of whatever types of green, the image of Cas reading the same book, propped up against the pillows in their bedroom, earnest expression on his face, does things to his nether regions.

Goddammit.

And really, it’s not even _their_ bed, it’s _Cas’_ bed. And Cas doesn’t have the time to read anyway, he has employees to extract the most relevant points from any fucking book for him if he really wants to know what it says.

Dean groans and buries deeper into the pillows, because he can just imagine Cas reading the dumb summary to him. Dean would be rolling his eyes and Cas would say in his serious voice, “Dean, this is good for you. You need to take better care of your health”, and Dean would try to evade but it would all be in good fun, and in the end, he’d quietly bask in having an Alpha who takes such good care of him. He’d fucking enjoy doing what Cas asked. Because Cas gets this ridiculously happy smile and – argh.

Dean pulls the pillow over his face because his arm is obviously not enough to block out the world.

He needs to get it through his head that the ridiculously happy smiles are not for Dean anymore.  Maybe he’s interpreted too much into them from the beginning. It’s not Cas’ fault, after all, that Dean couldn’t keep it casual.

Cas had made it clear early on, that there were a lot of Omegas chasing after him for his fortune, and that he wasn’t inclined to mate any of them. He hadn’t said it explicitly, that he thought Dean was in the same category, but Dean had taken the hint. Had been pretty blunt about telling Cas that he wasn’t after his fortune but that he found him attractive and wouldn’t mind if their relationship involved a few less clothes in the future.

Which hadn’t even been untrue. Dean couldn’t care less about Cas’ fortune and he’d never been the kind of Omega who had a secret notebook with their wedding plans.

It is just that - He sighs.

It’s just his luck that the only Alpha he’s ever wanted for more than a night is the elusive billionaire bachelor Castiel Novak, who doesn’t want any commitment. At least not to Dean.

Dean presses the pillow tighter to his face. It’s so fucking frustrating. How do you get over someone while carrying their child? Now that’s a question they should teach you the answer to in school. Because Dean’s got no idea. Especially not if he’s supposed to call Cas and tell him about this. How on Earth is he supposed to do that?

He’s got enough trouble reconciling the fact that Cas left him right in time for him to have a pup growing in him. He hates it. He hates how needy and weak his body is. How it clings to pillows at night, how it wishes there was anything in Dean’s life that at least smelled like Cas. How all of his independence is swept away in the need to be protected by his mate.

The only need that is still bigger than that is his need to protect his child.

He’s got no idea how that works, but even in the first moments after staring at those two small lines damning him to a life he’d never wanted, to being an unmated Omega with child, to be shunned by any better company and in all likelihood doomed to a life alone, unless he finds a widowed Alpha kind enough to merge their families in a marriage of convenience – even in those first few moments, he’d known that he’d keep the child.

In fact, there is a cold sweat breaking out all over his body at the thought of anything else. Yes, their Alpha didn’t want them, but this child is already a part of Dean’s heart and he’s going to do everything he can to protect it.  

Which, obviously, means that he should be considering what Sam said about talking to Cas.

Because no matter what Cas thinks of Dean – and Dean can imagine a few things Cas might think about the clingy summer affair who left half a dozen voice messages suddenly turning up pregnant – Cas is nothing if not committed to his family. Any paternity test will prove that this is his child. He won’t abandon it. And Cas’ money can basically buy absolutely everything – health care, good schools, a perspective in life that Dean will never be able to give them, no matter who hard he tries.

So in the end, it’s pretty clear that telling Cas about this can only be good for the child.  

Only, Dean’s not sure where Cas would see Dean in this picture. Whether he would see him in the picture at all. Cas knows way too much about Dean, after all. Maybe if he just knew him as an artist who’s just starting out, he’d think that Dean’s creativity and entrepreneurship might be good qualities to pass on. But Cas also knows everything else. He knows how Sam and Dean spent part of their childhood living out of a car. He knows about their Dad being an abusive bastard. He knows that there’s times when Dean drinks too much to cope with his life. He also knows that Sam made it to college despite the circumstances and Dean didn’t. Because Sam’s smart and Dean isn’t. There’s precious little Dean has to offer a child.

So what if Cas’ conclusion is that the child is better off living at one of Cas’ mansions with a wet-nurse and a tutor, going to a boarding school when it’s time and only getting the best of everything? The best of everything to his knowledge has never included Dean.

The pillow over his head becomes stifling as his eyes fill with tears and his nose with snot. He throws it to the side and angrily wipes at his face. It’s no use crying over facts. And Dean wants the best for his pup, doesn’t he? Wants to protect it and make sure that it has every chance in life to succeed. Doesn’t want it to have a deadbeat Dad because he knows how that feels like.

The thought is sickening and he isn’t sure what’s worse, thinking about giving up his child or thinking he might become his own father.

Well, maybe it doesn’t have to be an either or. He can negotiate with Cas. He can get something, even if it’s not the family he wants. He’s pretty sure that Cas won’t refuse to have someone send Dean a few pictures or maybe videos every so often. And Cas does live in town for a few months out of the year, usually, so maybe there could even be visitations. Dean doesn’t have to tell the child who he is. He can be a local artist, who Cas once sponsored and who keeps contact because he’s still grateful.

Which he would be. He’d be grateful about anything where Cas doesn’t tell him to get rid of the child or to get lost after the child is born.

His stomach turns again at the thought and this time there’s no holding back the vomit.

He makes it to the bathroom just in time.

“Dean?” Sam cautiously knocks on the bathroom door a few minutes later.

“Morning sickness, it’s fine.” His voice is rough but Dean hopes it comes over as _I have_ _just puked_ , not as _I have just cried_.

“Do you need some water or something?”

“I’m pregnant, not invalid. I can get my own water,” Dean grumps.

Nevertheless, when he finally makes it back to the bedroom 20 minutes later, there’s a glass of water on the nightstand. And a glass of orange juice next to it. Because vitamins, Dean assumes. He downs half of the water and sits back down on the bed.

It doesn’t necessarily clear his head but at the same time, it helps just enough to figure it out. That in the end, his choices are to keep worrying himself sick, or to get over himself and face the problem head-on. And really, those two choices aren’t a choice at all.

So finally, he accepts the inevitable.

He’s got to call Cas. He’s got to tell him.


	2. Chapter 2

Of course that doesn’t mean that the anxiety isn’t back the next morning.

It doesn’t help that Sam puts cereal and yogurt in front of him. There’s even fresh fruit on top of it.

“You cut an apple for me, Sam? What am I, five?”

“Judging by your eating habits, I’d say the answer is yes. And since I can’t check your lunch, at least I’m going to make sure you eat something nutritious in the morning.”

Dean pulls a face, because yeah, this is exactly what he had feared would happen. “You’re not my Alpha, Sam.”

“You _don’t have_ an Alpha, Dean. So I’m going to damn well do my best to be a replacement.”

They glare at each other in a silent stand-off until finally Dean gives in. God, how he hates this. It’s bad enough when Cas coddles him but the role reversal with his little brother is even worse.

And fuck, there he is, thinking about Cas in present tense again. He really needs to stop that.

Instead of getting stuck on that point, he takes a bite of the cereal. It’s not as horrible as it could be. He still makes a face and just to be obnoxious, he asks. “You gonna allow me my cup of coffee? Or is that against my _rules_ now?” He spits the word like the disgusting piece of shit it is.

Sam sighs and rubs his forehead, obviously exasperated with Dean’s attitude. Well, that didn’t take long. “You know where the coffee maker is.” Sam grabs his briefcase and walks to the door. “I’ll be home for dinner. Call me if you need anything.”

“Not an invalid,” Dean mutters but the door is already closing behind Sam.

Dean stays away from the coffee maker after all because to be honest, he’s awake enough. If only because he’s fucking scared by the prospect of hearing Cas’ voice.

Not that he has any plan yet how to achieve that.

Cas has made it clear that he doesn’t want to talk to Dean. He’s done it in a pretty cowardly way, but the message itself came over crystal clear.

Of course Dean still has his email address. He could write him to ask him to call back.

The thing is, Cas doesn’t read his emails. Cas’ secretary reads his emails. And if he gave her instructions that he doesn’t want any contact with Dean, Cas will never know that Dean emailed in the first place. Which does not help.

Now he guesses that if he stated the reason for wanting to talk to Cas, that might change things.

Dean chuckles a little hysterically at the thought of attaching a picture of the pregnancy test to the email. To be backuped and stored on the Novak Empire servers forever.

Yeah, no. That’s definitely not the preferred method.

Which leaves calling.

Not Cas because the success rate of that is evidently zero. But maybe he can schedule an official appointment through his secretary. Dean can almost see it, typed neatly into Cas’ schedule: “16:00, telecon with Dean Winchester (last year’s summer fling).” The brackets helpfully added by Hannah just in case Cas has already forgotten who he is.

Yeah, somehow that doesn’t work for Dean, either.

In a snap decision, he takes out his phone and tries to call Cas’ number again. He never did get around to deleting it.  

It rings to the end, not even voice mail. But then, at least the number is still in service. Dean guesses that’s something.

He hangs up and stares at the phone screen for a few minutes.

It can’t hurt to try, can it?

_Dean @Cas: I need to talk to you. It’s urgent. I wouldn’t bother you if it wasn’t._

He thinks about how that sounds and then begrudgingly adds:

_Dean @Cas: It’s not about money._

Because he knows that Cas gets at least a dozen people every week who ask him for money. Not that Dean’s ever done that before.

But not asking is not the same as not benefitting from Cas’ wealth. Dean’s undoubtedly done that. He’s benefitted in the form of nice dinners and clothes to go to the social events that Cas said he could only bear with Dean at his side. He’d benefitted in the form of gallery spaces for his art, and Cas had even bought that sculpture back when they first met.

So he guesses it’s better to state it out loud that he’s not trying to reach Cas to beg.

But then, it might still come to that, depending on Cas’ reaction when he does finally reach him.

Dean grimaces, disgusted with the prospect but well aware that he will beg for the chance to be a part of his pup’s life.

The thought is too much, so he gets up to find some snack foods. He decides that he’ll do some research first before he does any other calling. Since his impulse call didn’t go through, it looks like Dean will be explaining to Hannah instead of Cas that he’s pregnant. And he’s not looking forward to that. Well, at least he has some stats from the doctor that he can read her. Likely date of conception, current size of the bunch of cells that’s developing into Cas’ pup, Dean’s blood values and overall health report. It’ll be technical enough for her. And it’ll show Cas that Dean’s responsible. That he takes care of himself and knows what he’s doing.

That spawns a slightly hysterical laugh, because yeah, Dean doesn’t have the slightest idea what he’s doing. But then, he’s spent a lifetime winging it, why should this be any different.

Okay, research.

He opens google and types _unmated Omega pregnancy_. There are 28 million results. Well, at least his morning won’t be boring.

 

A few hours later, Dean cusses his way through a website listing the health benefits of having a loving Alpha by your side as opposed to the additional risks cropping up for an unmated Omega on his own. Apparently, they’re even worse for an Omega who’s grieving the loss of a mate.

Dean growls outright at that cause fuck everything he refuses to accept that he’s grieving. He doesn’t care that there are too many moments when his body is longing for Cas like it would for a missing limb, that’s not what this is.

He jerks when his phone starts ringing. A look at the clock tells him that it’s already lunchtime. Sam then, checking up on him because being pregnant obviously means he’s lost the ability to even be on his own for one day.

He growls preemptively but the icon blinking on his screen isn’t Sam’s.

He blinks but it’s still the same number. Suddenly his throat is dry.

“Cas?” He croaks out when he takes the call.

“Nah, sorry, to disappoint, just me.”

For a heartbeat, it feels like plummeting through the air at rocket speed and Dean has to grab the table to stabilize himself. “Gabriel,” he manages.

“Live and in person. How are you doing, Dean-o?”

The conversational tone is enough to make Dean feel sick again. It’s yet more proof for what Dean had known already, that their relationship had had far less emotional impact on Cas and his family than it had on Dean. That Cas had never been torn up the way Dean had been in the past two months. Cause Dean is fucking sure that Sam wouldn’t portray any of this casual calm if he was talking to Cas. Speaking of: “I need to talk to Cas,” he stubbornly repeats what he’s said in his text message. “It’s important.”

“He’s not even here, Dean-o.” There is a hint of guilt in Gabriel’s voice. “He left his phone behind.”

“So he’s still in Paris?” Dean asks.

Silence on the other end of the line.

“Shit,” Dean curses. “Shit, shit, shit. You’re not even allowed to tell me, are you?”

“Sorry, Dean-o.” To his credit, Gabriel actually sounds contrite. “You know how it is.”

Dean doesn’t know how it is because he’s never had a relationship with a billionaire before. Or will ever have one again. But he knows one thing, “I’m not a stalker.”

“Precautions, Dean-o. Nothing personal.”

And that’s it. That’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

“How nice that it’s not personal for him because it feels goddamn fucking personal to me TO CARRY HIS CHILD!” He yells the end of the sentence but that’s all the loud anger that he’s got energy for. He rubs a hand over his face. “Oh goddammit. Just tell him to call me back if he wants to be involved in any of this. Otherwise, I’m gonna make Sam sign the papers to be the kid’s guardian and keep Cas’ name out of it. Tell him it’s fine. He won’t have to worry about me or the pup every showing up on his doorstep. And if the yellow press puts it together,” Dean shrugs helplessly, “you’ve got better access to them than me. Just tell them that he broke up with me because I was sleeping around. Let them speculate. I don’t care. ‘s not like I have a reputation that needs upholding.”

His voice breaks on the last sentence. He’d never known that rejection hurts so fucking much. Hurts physically like this. He guesses it’s the pregnancy. Has to be. Nature’s way of making sure the offspring has the best chances by ensuring any separation hurts the parents.

He breathes through it.

“Dean-o, I don’t know what to – you’re really pregnant?” Gabriel asks astonished.

“Yes,” Dean nods.

“With my brother’s kid?”

“Yes, Gabriel. With your brother’s kid. I know what the press says but I’m not actually a slut, you know.” He manages to sound annoyed, though a leaden exhaustion is spreading through his bones.

“And you’re keeping it?”

“’s a decision that should be made together, isn’t it?” It doesn’t sound half as snarky as Dean wants it to sound. So he gives up on the façade. “Yeah, I’m going to keep it. And as I said, if Cas wants nothing to do with the kid, that’s okay. We’ll stay away. There’s no need for him to make me get rid of the pup. But if he… If he wants to be here, well, he knows where to find me. I’m not gonna – I’m not gonna make things difficult for him either way. I’ll do what he wants me to do.”

It sounds docile and Omega and Dean hates himself a little for it, but he’s also too tired to really be bothered. Any fight he puts up on this is for show anyway. He’s already decided that having Cas take an active interest in them is going to be best for the pup. And he’s not going to deny his pup what’s best for them.

“Dean-o, I…” Gabriel sounds uncharacteristically subdued. Still shocked maybe. Or just not used to Dean being honest instead of posturing. “I’ll try to get a hold of him, alright? Can you hold out for a few days with signing those papers?”

“Yeah,” Dean confirms. “Next doctor’s appointment is Wednesday in a week. I need an Alpha to claim responsibility for me and the child by then.”

“Wednesday in a week, okay, got it,” Gabriel says. “I’ll do what I can, okay?”

“Thanks, Gabe,” Dean replies quietly and doesn’t know anything else to say.

“Keep like – eating well and resting a lot and whatever.”

And that sounds so uncomfortable that Dean chuckles against his will. “Dude, I got this. Don’t strain yourself.”

“Oh, thank goodness,” Gabriel sighs relieved. “I know frikkin’ nothing about pregnancies.”

Dean shakes his head. “It’s alright, man. My brother is fussing over me already. It’s obnoxious enough. So there’s one uncle doing the thing already, you don’t need to start, too.” He breaks off when he notices what he’s said. Uncle. A family relation that no one knows whether it’ll actually come to pass.

“I’ll let you know, okay? When I reached Cassie?” Gabriel says after the awkward silence stretches on for too long.

“Okay,” Dean nods. “That’s – that’ll help. Thanks.”

Even though Dean has a feeling that if Cas doesn’t want anything to do with Dean and his kid, Dean would rather like to pretend for a few days longer instead of knowing immediately.

 

 

Calming down is not a thing that Dean seems to be able to do.

There are some moments when he thinks that it was well done, talking to Gabriel. Someone in Cas’ vicinity knows now. Someone who will deliver the message.

Then the next minute, Dean wishes he’d never have called. Because Cas knowing also means that Dean will have to deal with Cas’ decisions. Ha, scratch that. Dean will have to deal with Cas’ voice and presence. That’s bad enough even before any decisions are made.

Consequently, when Sam tries to convince Dean to come out with him and Eileen, Dean is one hundred percent too anxious to be able to be among other humans. Not without alcohol to calm down his nerves. So he cites the bouts of sickness as a reason why he has to stay home. Sam looks at him suspiciously but when Dean growls at him that he can stay alone for an evening because he’s _NOT AN INVALID_ , Sam nods and goes on his own.

He doesn’t even start a discussion about staying at home with Dean, and Dean is silently grateful for it. He doesn’t begrudge his brother his happiness and he doesn’t want to interfere with it. In fact. he likes Eileen. She’s tough, she doesn’t give a whiff about gender roles, and she brings out the best in Sam. What more could Dean want from his future sister-in-law? And he’s perfectly sure that she’s going to be just that.

Yet another reason why it would actually be good if Cas called back, even if he calls to claim the kid for himself. But Sam and Eileen don’t need Dean and his pup clinging on to them like parasites. Oh, they’d take him in, there is no question about it. They’d even help with raising the child and would make sure he’d not end up being chained to being a homemaker but would still get to keep working on his art. In other words, he’d be a millstone around their necks right from the start. And Dean can’t have that. They deserve the chance to build their own home and find their own slice of paradise.

The whole situation is so frustrating that he wants to scream. What the fuck is wrong with fucking society that they can’t let him do this on his own? That he’s dependent on finding a fucking Alpha to take responsibility? His art made him enough money in the past half year that he could just take it and start anew somewhere else. He could do it, too, if it was just him. He’s gotten through the whole shenanigans, including the part where he’s got to pretend he’s a Beta before.

Only now, he’s pregnant, so he can’t take blockers. And then of course at some point he also can’t disguise the fact that he is pregnant anymore. He’d need a doctor who treats him without notifying the state that the Alpha whose signature is on the papers has never shown up and that the Omega insists on paying in cash. Now he knows a few doctors like that but if he uses any of them, at least his brother will know them, too. Which makes the whole thing a farce. It wouldn’t be disappearing, it would be delaying the inevitable.

He’s got a feeling that even though the yellow press lost interest in him after Cas flew off to jetset around the world, the moment Sam found him would be the exact moment when they print a “ _And what happened to…?_ ” story. Because everyone loves seeing the mighty fall. What could be more amusing than seeing Castiel Novak’s cocky ex-lover being dragged home kicking and screaming by his Alpha brother like he’s a naughty child?

“Blergh,” Dean grimaces at his own imagination. Not a future he wants for either himself or the pup.

He glances at his phone. There are no new notifications. So either Gabriel has still not gotten through, or Cas’ reaction was something that Gabriel would rather not share.

Neither option does anything to stabilize Dean’s mood. Maybe he should have gone with Eileen and his brother and crashed their dinner date after all. Just to get out of the house for a bit. He’s been holing up in here too much in the past week, shamelessly exploiting the fact that he’s self-employed to wallow instead of working.

He’s just trying to decide whether Sam and Eileen are already done with dinner or whether it still makes sense to follow them, when the doorbell rings.

“Speaking of the devil,” Dean mumbles. And then, louder, “Told you not to come back early because of me, moose…” But the words stick in his throat.

Because in front of the door isn’t Sam’s overgrown moose body. In front of the door is a man with brilliant blue eyes and a trench-coat that looks like its owner has been sleeping in it and not like it’s a billionaire’s wardrobe.

“Hello Dean.”

A shudder runs down Dean’s spine and it takes a moment before he remembers himself and then another moment before he can convince his limbs to cooperate and step to the side to let Cas in.

Cas follows the invitation hesitantly. He can’t seem to decide whether he wants to stare at Dean’s face or at Dean’s belly. Not that there is anything to see there yet.

Dean averts his own eyes and busies himself closing the door. Cas’ limousine is parked in Dean’s driveway, Alfie, his driver, is currently checking his phone. Dean resists the urge to wave when the kid looks up. He had always liked him. But right now, Dean can’t help but wonder whether the fact that Cas told Alfie to wait means that he wants to cut this as short as possible.

Well, at least Cas didn’t send a lawyer. At least he is here in person.  

Speaking of… “What are you doing here?” Dean asks. “Here in the US, I mean. Thought you were still in Europe.”

“I have a private jet. I flew back the second Gabriel called,” Cas answers indignantly. Then he stares at Dean’s belly again. “Is it true?”

Dean puts a protective hand over his midsection, shielding his tummy from view if nothing else. “Yeah,” he replies flatly. “It’s true. The test results are on the kitchen table.”

He turns around abruptly and stalks towards the kitchen, body and mind warring with each other. Because his body does not want to leave Cas’ side. It sings in elation at the fact that his Alpha is finally close. Because his body is an idiot. The first sentence out of Cas’ mouth was pretty much accusing Dean of being a liar. Cas is not here for Dean.

“Do you want something to drink while you look through these?” Dean asks and indicates the stack of papers. He isn’t sure Cas even plans on staying that long.

“Some water would be lovely, if it’s no inconvenience,” Cas nods.

“Okay.” Dean turns towards the cabinet while Cas takes a seat and starts shuffling through the papers. It gives Dean a moment to lean against the kitchen counter, eyes turned away from Cas, to catch his breath.

Cas is always composed and he often sounds clinical. Dean doesn’t know what else he’d expected. Cas didn’t even think it necessary to formally break up with him. Why would he be warm towards Dean now? He bites his lip hard to counter the emotions with a physical pain that’s easier to control. This would be so much easier if his body wasn’t convinced that Cas was his mate.

_Not just your body…_

Dean ignores the nagging little voice at the back of his brain. If he wants to get through this, he needs to hold on to as much of his wit as he can. He can’t let himself break down and beg Cas to take him back. To make them the family Dean wants. All of this is humiliating enough, he has to hold on to the remnants of his pride.

With new resolve, he fills two glasses and brings them over to the table. Better avoid looking directly at Cas, though, if he doesn’t want to drown in his feelings. “Do you find the proof satisfactory?” It sounds stiff and formal and wrong. _I’m sorry,_ he quietly apologizes to the pup growing in him. _I promise I’ll celebrate your life when you’re here. I promise I’ll never make you feel unwanted. We’ll just have to get there first._

“This says you’re almost 12 weeks along?”

“Yeah,” Dean nods. “And before you ask, yes, it’s definitely yours. I haven’t been with anyone else.” He grips his glass hard. “I understand that you’ll want a paternity test, of course.” Because there’s too much money at stake to trust the word of a random someone you had an affair with.

Cas doesn’t answer, and so Dean looks up to watch him after all. Cas stares at the papers with an empty expression. He looks lost in his suit and trench-coat, both of them a size too big these days, it seems. It softens Dean’s heart.

“Look, Cas…” He clears his throat. They are not familiar enough for nicknames anymore. “I mean, Castiel,“ he corrects. “I know this is not a surprise that you wanted. And I also know that you didn’t have time to think about what you want to do. So, I can… I can scan those papers for you and send them to your email and you can tell me what you’ve decided to do when you, well, when you’ve decided what to do.”

“Have you?” Cas asks and his voice sounds as empty and off as his gaze has been. “Decided what to do?”

Dean gives him a pained smile. “I called you, didn’t I? That’s pretty much all the decision I get to make.”

“Dean!” Suddenly, the emptiness is gone and the full force of Cas’ gaze is focused on Dean. A steep frown appears on his forehead. “You know that that’s not true!”

Dean holds his hands out in an appeasing gesture. Angry Alpha is not what he wanted. “Well, I have a few things that I’d _want_ , if you’re asking my input.” Cas stays quiet, so Dean continues. “I mean, I guess Gabe already told you that I want to keep it. And -,” suddenly his voice doesn’t want to cooperate, his words coming out hesitant and insecure, “I know it’s a lot to ask but I’d kind of – I’d really like to stay a part of the kid’s life.”

“Dean,” and now Cas sounds absolutely horrified, “you know me better than that! I would _never_ take our child away from you!”

And that is actually better than expected, so Dean smiles a small relieved smile. “Thank you,” he mumbles. “’m grateful.”

“Dean…” Cas breaks off. Apparently Dean has managed to make him speechless.

And yeah, maybe the last few days have taken a toll on Dean. Maybe he is not the snarky, self-reliant Omega that he usually is today. Maybe all of this is a bit much and maybe Dean can’t quite keep up the sarcastic front. Goddammit, is it such a crime to want a little help with being strong? A little love?

“Dean?”

And now Dean’s crying and he can’t. He just can’t. Not in front of Cas. So he jumps up and runs to the bathroom, crumbling into a heap on the floor the minute the door is locked.

He buries his head against his knees, makes himself as small as he can and sobs without restraint, all the tears that he’d tried so hard to repress coming out at once.

“Dean? Dean, are you okay?” Cas is in front of the door then, knocking somewhat frantically.

Dean buries his head deeper, the sobs shaking his body.

“Dean, let me in! Dean!” Cas’ tone changes from frantic to commanding, but not even that is enough to make Dean move. His body recognizes the pull of obeying his Alpha, oh yes, but he’s fallen over on the floor and coordinated movement is beyond his ability.

“Dean, come on. Dean! I need to know that you’re okay! Dean, don’t do this!” Commanding changes to pleading before finally the stream of _Dean_ breaks off.

Dean expects Cas to go away then, to leave him in his misery. But instead there’s a heavy thump from the other side of the door, the door itself shaking when Cas lets his back fall against it.

They stay like that for a long time, each of them on their own side of the bathroom door.

Finally, Dean’s sobs start to lessen, his tears drying out. He feels mangled and weak, like someone put him through a meat grinder. It’s an awful feeling but at least he manages to push up on his arms until he’s sitting up again, his back leaning against the bathroom door.

He can’t help but imagine that it’s a tiny bit warmer where Cas is also leaning against it.

He soaks it in greedily, that little bit of contact. That little moment of pretense.

“Dean, I…” Cas starts hesitantly, his voice muffled through the wood. “I promise I’m going to try. I’m going to try to be there for you in any way that you need. I just – I don’t know if I can.“

Dean closes his eyes. He doesn’t want to hear this. He wanted the illusion for another moment longer.

“It hurts so much, Dean. It hurts so much having you close and not being allowed – God, Dean, I know that you don’t want a mate, but – I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to be there for you and not be your Alpha.” 

Wait what?

But Cas has fallen silent, nothing but quiet noises of despair to hear from the other side.

So Dean stretches his arm to unlock the bathroom door. Cas apparently catches the noise because he stares at the door when it opens, eyes red-rimmed and breathing shallow.

“Repeat that, please?” Dean asks tightly.

“I’m so sorry, Dean. I try so hard not to be a knothead, but – I wanted to mate you from the first moment and I… I just… I’m not sure I can take…”

“But you broke up with me!” Dean interrupts. “That was you! You broke up with me!”

“Because I promised you casual and I couldn’t keep my promise!” Cas exclaims desperately. ”I had to walk away before I lost control! Do you even know how often I was lying awake, staring at you, wanting nothing more than to see my bite on your neck?”

“No,” Dean says flabbergasted. “No, I didn’t know that.”

It’s Cas’ turn to bury his face in his hands. “Dean, I am s…”

“…an idiot!” Dean finishes the sentence for him. Because that just can’t be. I can’t be that Dean was this mistaken the whole time. “You really want me to wear your bite?” he asks, dumbfounded.

Cas nods but he keeps his face hidden in his hands, like he’s not daring to look up at Dean.

“Cas,” Dean cups Cas’ face in his hand, gently pushing him upwards. “Come on, Cas, look at me.”

When Cas finally does, Dean looks him in the eye, searches the depth there. The blue is dimmed by the red and Cas looks – he looks older than Dean remembers. More haggard. Like he wasn’t eating enough and working too much. Like he was grieving.

It’s a startling observation, but it gives Dean the push that he needs. He smiles, a small unsure smile because this is new and unexpected and Dean’s not yet sure what to do with it. But Cas’ skin is warm under Dean’s hand and Cas leans into the touch instead of away. It’s enough to give Dean courage. “I want nothing more than that, Cas. I want your bite. Have always wanted it.”

He can see it, the moment in which it sinks in. Cas’ eyes turn from dull to shining, hope flaring up in a rush that compels Dean to answer with a rush of his own. So he moves forward without thinking, sealing their lips together. It takes a frightening long moment before Cas reciprocates. But then his hands come up around Dean, pulling him closer, and it’s all Dean can do to hold himself upright as his whole body sags in relief. As the feeling of _this is right, this is how it should be_ spreads a glowing warmth into every part of him.

“I love you, Cas.” He whispers it against his skin because it still feels like a forbidden sentence, like something that’s buried in his heart but can never come out.

Only Cas shivers at the words and he presses Dean as close as he can. He buries his nose in Dean’s neck and inhales deeply, and for a heartbeat Dean thinks Cas is going to mate him right there and then, on the floor, half in the hallway, half in the bathroom.

He doesn’t, though. Instead, he buries his face in Dean’s neck and lets his hands wander down to Dean’s waist. He hesitates there, like he’s not sure he’s allowed to explore more.

“You can touch me,” Dean whispers. “There isn’t much to feel yet, though. It’ll be a few more weeks.”

Cas nods quietly and lets his hand glide under Dean’s shirt, places it on Dean’s belly. His whole face lights up in awe. “We made a child, Dean,” he whispers back.

“We made a child,” Dean agrees.

“We’re gonna be a family!” Cas’ eyes are bright now, like they’re going to overflow into tears any second, but his face is flushed and the corners of his mouth are drawn up into a smile.

Dean can’t help it, he smiles back. For the first time, he allows himself to think, that maybe, just maybe, things are going to be okay. That everything he’s always forbidden himself from dreaming about might actually be in his reach.

A sudden wave of joy crashes over him, taking with it all the anxiety and doubt of the past few days, and leaving only happiness behind. He’s with pup and he’s with his Alpha and his Alpha wants to be with him. Everything is right with the world.

“We’re gonna be a family,” Dean repeats, his voice breathless under the onslaught of emotions.

Cas tackles him then, pushing both of them over until they’re on the floor, Cas boxing Dean in with his knees and hovering over him. He is laughing and crying at the same time and Dean is, too. “I love you, Dean.”

Dean didn’t think his heart could fill any more, thought it had already been filled to the brim, but oh, it does. He’s wanted to hear these words for so long.

“I love you, too, Cas,” he answers and means it with all of his heart.

And then, the only thing Dean can think of is to draw Cas down on top of him, and kiss him with everything he’s got.


End file.
